This is something I've battled since graduating university. So many roads not taken and they always lead somewhere more appealing than where I currently find myself no matter how fortunate or surrounded by love I am. I wish we could live in a multiverse in which we're aware of all our other lives. Maybe if we knew the hardships we didn't end up facing....
I sometimes take comfort in the Hindu idea of life stages -- that we have different callings and simply need to be open to the new doors and recognize our purpose where we are. The comfort never lasts long, unfortunately.
"Maybe if we knew..." We are indeed such curious beings!!! I take comfort in the fact that we are all so fact in the same ways!!! I can always keep trying to be good where I am. I absolutely have my moments. But you're right, they never last too long. I'll just stick out my thumb and wait for the next one.
I too have been thinking about the feeling of envy. I find it fascinating that I don't want material things, but other things. Being envious can be a positive thing. It's your subconscious yelling "I WANT THIS!" And maybe what that is, I need to get. And us writers don't give up easy, right? ;)
So true!! It's all about sorting what the want really is. I'm grateful not to live full time in envy and regret, but boy, those things have some strong arms!!
Oh my god imagine being envious of someone as annoying as Jonathan Franzen??
I've also been thinking a lot lately about envy, but mostly how liberating it was for me to re-frame it as a data point. Like when I find myself being envious of someone, that clearly reveals something I feel is missing in my own life. So then all I have to do (no big deal) is figure out a way to make that happen for me! Which I weirdly feel like I will always be able to do? That's probably not a super healthy attitude but it's what I've got to work with haha.
Love the idea of the reframe!! And NO BIG DEALING it. Sometimes when the mask gets torn off the envy, there's just a little deal under there flapping its arms and faking a loud voice!!!
Also, healthy attitudes can come in so many shapes and sizes!!
This is something I've battled since graduating university. So many roads not taken and they always lead somewhere more appealing than where I currently find myself no matter how fortunate or surrounded by love I am. I wish we could live in a multiverse in which we're aware of all our other lives. Maybe if we knew the hardships we didn't end up facing....
I sometimes take comfort in the Hindu idea of life stages -- that we have different callings and simply need to be open to the new doors and recognize our purpose where we are. The comfort never lasts long, unfortunately.
"Maybe if we knew..." We are indeed such curious beings!!! I take comfort in the fact that we are all so fact in the same ways!!! I can always keep trying to be good where I am. I absolutely have my moments. But you're right, they never last too long. I'll just stick out my thumb and wait for the next one.
Great essay. Helped articulate vague gross feelings in me, and made me feel connected to you, who I’ve never met!
Three cheers for connection that comes from vague gross feelings!!
I envy your passion!
I too have been thinking about the feeling of envy. I find it fascinating that I don't want material things, but other things. Being envious can be a positive thing. It's your subconscious yelling "I WANT THIS!" And maybe what that is, I need to get. And us writers don't give up easy, right? ;)
So true!! It's all about sorting what the want really is. I'm grateful not to live full time in envy and regret, but boy, those things have some strong arms!!
Oh my god imagine being envious of someone as annoying as Jonathan Franzen??
I've also been thinking a lot lately about envy, but mostly how liberating it was for me to re-frame it as a data point. Like when I find myself being envious of someone, that clearly reveals something I feel is missing in my own life. So then all I have to do (no big deal) is figure out a way to make that happen for me! Which I weirdly feel like I will always be able to do? That's probably not a super healthy attitude but it's what I've got to work with haha.
Love the idea of the reframe!! And NO BIG DEALING it. Sometimes when the mask gets torn off the envy, there's just a little deal under there flapping its arms and faking a loud voice!!!
Also, healthy attitudes can come in so many shapes and sizes!!